‘Eat that now,’ she said: ‘you must be hungry. Hannah says you have had nothing but some gruel since breakfast.’
I did not refuse it, for my appetite was awakened and keen. Mr. Rivers now closed his book, approached the table, and, as he took a seat, fixed his blue pictorial-looking eyes full on me. There was an unceremonious directness, a searching, decided steadfastness in his gaze now, which told that intention and not diffidence, had hitherto kept it averted from the stranger.
‘You are very hungry,’ he said.
‘I am, sir.’ It is my way- it always was my way, by instinct- ever to meet the brief with brevity, the direct with plainness.
‘It is well for you that a low fever has forced you to abstain for the last three days: there would have been danger in yielding to the cravings of your appetite at first. Now you may eat, though still not immoderately.’
‘I trust I shall not eat long at your expense, sir,’ was my very clumsily-contrived, unpolished answer.
‘No,’ he said coolly: ‘when you have indicated to us the residence of your friends, we can write to them, and you may be restored to home.’
‘That, I must plainly tell you, is out of my power to do; being absolutely without home and friends.’
The three looked at me, but not distrustfully; I felt there was no suspicion in their glances: there was more of curiosity. I speak particularly of the young ladies. St. John’s eyes, though clear enough in a literal sense, in a figurative one were difficult to fathom. He seemed to use them rather as instruments to search other people’s thoughts, than as agents to reveal his own: the which combination of keenness and reserve was considerably more calculated to embarrass than to encourage.
‘Do you mean to say,’ he asked, ‘that you are completely isolated from every connection?’
‘I do. Not a tie links me to any living thing: not a claim do I possess to admittance under any roof in England.’
‘A most singular position at your age!’
Here I saw his glance directed to my hands, which were folded on the table before me. I wondered what he sought there: his words soon explained the quest.
‘You have never been married? You are a spinster?’
Diana laughed. ‘Why, she can’t be above seventeen or eighteen years old, St. John,’ said she.
‘I am near nineteen: but I am not married. No.’
I felt a burning glow mount to my face; for bitter and agitating recollections were awakened by the allusion to marriage. They all saw the embarrassment and the emotion. Diana and Mary relieved me by turning their eyes elsewhere than to my crimsoned visage; but the colder and sterner brother continued to gaze, till the trouble he had excited forced out tears as well as colour.
‘Where did you last reside?’ he now asked.
‘You are too inquisitive, St. John,’ murmured Mary in a low voice; but he leaned over the table and required an answer by a second firm and piercing look.
‘The name of the place where, and of the person with whom I lived, is my secret,’ I replied concisely.
‘Which, if you like, you have, in my opinion, a right to keep, both from St. John and every other questioner,’ remarked Diana.
‘Yet if I know nothing about you or your history, I cannot help you,’ he said. ‘And you need help, do you not?’
‘I need it, and I seek it so far, sir, that some true philanthropist will put me in the way of getting work which I can do, and the remuneration for which will keep me, if but in the barest necessaries of life.’
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本文作者：简爱
原文链接：Jane Eyre-Chapter 29
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